A How-To Hobby Guide
It's your first meeting. Your nervous. What should you expect? What should you do? What things to avoid? Relax, hopefully this guide will help ease some of your concerns and answer some common questions.
Contacting a provider:
*Look around and find the type of woman you are looking for. Some things you might look for are physical attraction, personality, and budget. Do your homework. Does she have reviews? Reviews are a good way to find out if she is legit and if you are going to be compatible.
*Read her website. Most information can be found there. Such things are gift amounts, "rules", reviews, etc. If after reading the website and you cannot find what you need politely ask.
*Find out how she would like to be contacted. Some prefer only phone, email, or instant message. Refrain from asking about anything sexual. This is the quickest way to abruptly halt any correspondence.
*If you are using a cell phone be sure to use one that is not shared by an spouse/girlfriend. Be sure to clear out your call history. The same goes for your computer. Clear any cookies and your history out to make sure you don't leave any tracks for someone to find out about. Use a seperate email account.
*When calling be sure you are in a quiet place. Calling from a ballgame, bar or airport sometimes results in missing critical numbers we need to call back. Make sure you have a strong signal on your cell phone. If you are staying in a hotel most require that the person calling have your FULL name in order for the call to be forwarded to your room. Sometimes these are common reasons for not receiving a call back.
The Day Of The Appointment:
*Be sure to follow up to see if everything is still on schedule. Make note of the time and place. I Are you going to her or is she coming to you. Arrive on time. Do not overstay. If you need to cancel do so with as much notice as possible. Always call if you need to cancel or will be late. If she has already arrived and you cannot stay for whatever reason be polite, offer her whatever her cancellation fee is.
*Have you gone thru any screening she might require? Sometimes this is required for her safety. If she does require screening, do not lie. If she finds out at a later time that you did lie about something it seriously breaches the trust issue and she may end up wondering what else you are not telling her.
*Read up on your vocabulary so you understand all the terminology like incall, outcall, etc. It can be a little confusing sometimes. A glossary can be found here:
*Never heavily drink or indulge in any heavy drug usage prior to or during a session. Trust me, you'll have a much better time sober and she will appreciate it. Some may indulge in a drink with you once the session starts. You can always ask if she would like anything to eat or drink so that you have have it on hand once she arrives. Soda, Juice, Wine or Water? Fruits/cheeses/crackers? Little gestures are greatly appreciated although always ask ahead of time to avoid any food allergies or getting something she doesn't care for. Some may decline but its always the thought that counts.
*Before she arrives be sure to shower, shave, and brush your teeth. Light cologne. Dress nice, yet comfortable. If you are smoker, be sure to ask if she minds. If she does mind or if cigarettes are something that you do not care for be sure to have gum/breath mints handy. Febreeze is good at getting the smell out of fabrics/clothing.
*Do you have pets? Some don't mind animals but for those who are allergic or if you wish to not have any distractions you might want to place them outside in the backyard/on a leash, or in another room so that you won't have any distractions.
*If she is coming to your place be sure to show her around so that she feels comfortable that the two of you are alone. Place all your valuables away. This includes your wallet and any jewelry. You can have her gift placed in an evelope out in the open. It doesn't have to have her name on the outside. A blank birthday or thank you card can hold the donation. Never count out her donation. If she wishes she might excuse herself and go check on it discreetly in the bathroom. Make sure you have her donation in there correctly. Never attempt to shortchange her or haggle. Not only will it affect your service but she might inform other girls making it difficult to get a date in the future or see her again. Most take cash only. Checks and credit cards can be stopped/cancelled or bounce. They also leave a paper trail which both of you don't want.
*Candles/Soft music are always a nice touch.
*Sit down for a few and talk to kind of break the ice. Politics/Religion/Children are topics to avoid. Its just too argumentative or personal. If she does open up to you, keep her information private between the two of you. Avoid gossiping about others, especially providers. Not everyone has our best intrests at heart.
During your time together:
*Everyone differs in what they will or will not do. What you do is between you and your provider.
*Be gentle. There is no need to bite or twist anything. This applies to nipples, clitoris, ears, etc.
*Some girls allow kissing, others do not. Ask. If she does kiss lightly. Some allow tongue but there is no need to shove your tongue down her throat.
*If she allows fingers in her vagina or anal play be sure your nails are trimmed. Latex gloves can be used if you would like a barrier. Make sure that neither one of you are allergic to latex products.
*If she allows you to go down on her, some may require or you may request using a dental dam. This is a thin piece of plastic that can be purchased at sex shops near the condoms. Place it over her vagina and proceed like normal. This prevents bodily fluids from being exchanged. Flavored condoms are available for covered blow jobs.
*Always use protection. Be sure to have your own set of condoms just in case she does not bring some. Most professional ladies will be prepared. Also, if you are packing a little extra luggage be sure to get Trojan Magnums. Proper fit ensures less chance of breakage and is more comfortable. Do not use outdated protection or those that have been exposed to heat like in a glove compartment, etc. Astroglide or WET are popular brands of lubrication.
I know its not fun to have everything covered but there are alot of STD's out there and its for everyones safety. Most can be cured by antibiotics but some cannot. And you can't always tell by looking. Some STD's carry no symptoms. You can contact an STD thru oral, vaginal and anal intercourse. Some symptoms are fever, burning urination, sore throat/swollen glands, rashes, blisters, or bumps. Do you really want to subject your signifigant other or yourself to this? Or try explaining how you got it in the first place? If you need more information check out: http://www.skinchoice.com/std_symptoms.htm
Get tested often. Clinics and Planned Parenthoods offer free testing with results within a week to two weeks. If you are afraid of needles some places now offer an ORASURE HIV test which is just a swab that is placed in your cheek for a minute. Its quick and painless.
*No means no. Do not pressure her or force her to do anything she is not comfortable with. Most carry protection or have learned self defense. She might also have a handler or bodyguard nearby in case of an emergency. She will also alert other girls to what you did ensuring that it will be very hard for you to ever arrange a date with another lady.
Okay, now moving on...
*If you enjoyed your time together let her know. Tell her verbally. Some slide a little extra in the envelope or have a gift waiting for afterwards they might have chosen off a gift registry she has. Gift certificates are usually a good choice if you aren't sure what she might like. It is never required but I guarantee if you call up for a followup appointment at a later time she will definitely remember who you are :-)~
*Let her call a cab or ride if she needs to. Say your goodbyes.
*Keep in mind this is purely a professional relationship. Sometimes it does get a little emotionally confusing but refrain from telling her that you love her, etc. This makes for an ackward situation most of the time. Most providers, and sometimes hobbiests, have a private life outside of this one that can include husbands/boyfriends and children.
After the date:
*Follow up with a thank you email or quick phone call. If you enjoyed your time together there are sites that you can leave a review on if she allows them. Http://www.theeroticreview.com is one of the more popular sites. If you did go to her place and you leave a review do not mention her location (cross streets, area of town, name of hotel/apartment complex etc). This puts both her and others in jeopardy. Private details should be kept between the two of you.
*Be sure to clean up. If you are in a relationship be sure to throw all wrappers out into the trash can discreetly. Look for any stray hairs and rearrange any bedding/pillows etc. Take a shower again to make sure you have any perfume or anything lingering on you. Clean dishes, dump out ashtrays, etc.
Most ladies are extremely professional. However, there are some who try to prey on others for their own financial gain. Here are some hints on how to spot a scam.
*Bait N Switch - You are suppose to meet "Stella" who is blond, tall, buxom, young. What do you get instead? "Jody" who is brunette, short, small chested and older. Not what you ordered right?
*Upselling. This is when the girl asks for more money during a session for everything you want extra. Find out ahead of time if the donation covers any extra expenses. Look for words like "to start" "Tipping required/appreciated" and as far as time goes some girl charge for "up to" an hour meaning you may not get your full hour. There are some reputable agencies but alot do have girls that upcharge or do the bait and switch. Always, read reviews, do your homework. You'll be glad you did!
*Asking for money via Western Union. Some girls do require a deposit when traveling but before you wire anything make sure she has stellar reviews. Many gentleman have lost their money this way.
*The "I need to run money down to my driver". Again, a few legit girls do this. Read reviews. However, this is usually followed by screeching tires as she makes off with the full donation. This is known as a cash - n - dash. Wallets, jewelry, etc. are also targets they go for. Never leave anything valuable out in the open. If they are good at what they do they have you cleaned out and be out the door before you return from the kitchen/bathroom.
*Recently, a scam has been reported in several major cities. The gentleman arrives at the incall location. When on the floor you approached by someone that requests the gift in exchange for a room key where your lady will be waiting. However, the room ends up empty or the key doesn't work. And the person you gave your gift to is no where to be found.
Always be aware of your surroundings and if something doesn't feel right, trust your instincts. They will serve you well.