Happy Birthday and A Tale of Woe...
Yes, I'm growing old disgracefully...46. Everyone who's seen me thinks I'm about 32, so that's awesome! That apple profile photo, I'm about 42 on there.
I got brilliant gifts too, chocolates, flowers, 3 box-sets, a dvd/blu-ray player, a dvd film, and money! I did good. : )
I also won a competition recently...on Twitter, haha.
The deal was...
'Tell us about your Worst Date experience'. Nothing to do with being a provider...
Other people won too, but mine was certainly a contender...
When I was new to London, I thought it would be a good idea to meet new people by joining a dating site?
Oh. No. It. Was. Not.
He was really cute, sort of rockabilly styled...yeah good. I thought...
We went into the bar, and he'd obviously been there before...he just monopolised the karaoke mike, no one else could get the mike away from his greedy clutches.
He was rolling about the floor, grabbing my legs wailing 'Baby pleeease doncha break mah heart...' etc, I was mortified.
Everyone was laughing, and not WITH him...
I thought, 'How can I escape without him seeing me?'
Then I found the way, the back exit by the restrooms...fabulous! Freedom was but one minute away!
I pretended to go to the restroom, but sneaked away and opened the exit bars on the door.
I found myself in a 'beer garden' (do you have those in USA?) an outside section of the bar?
Success, I thought...until I saw that there was no other exit to the street, and a 20ft wall stopping my escape!
So, whilst wearing high heels and a tight dress, I scaled a 20ft wall, after piling up plastic garden furniture on top of tables! Yes, crazy...but I was desperate!
I threw my bag over first (minus money, keys and phone, tucked them into my underwear), hoping no one would steal away with it! No one did though. I cut my knees, tore my dress, took the skin off my nose climbing over, and it was a bit of a drop too. But I made it...I did sprain my ankle.
Now then...search for the train station! I'd gone out the back way, didn't know where I was now?
Bleeding and limping, covered in mud too, I started down a dark road...a car stopped...
I thought, oh Jesus Christ, I can't run away!
It was a woman! She had a small child in her car, so..I felt safe enough.
She said, 'Oh my God, are you ok, what happened!?'
I said, 'Oh I'm ok! I know it looks bad...I'm actually escaping from a blind date, I climbed over a wall, and fell, that's why I'm covered in mud and blood..honest!'
And so, I got in her car. She said that the road was the start of the highway, and I was walking away from the station. Really kind of her to take me to the train station ahhh...
He must still wonder to this day, how I managed to escape. The bartenders will know...!
I've been nominated for an award!
I just had an email through, to tell me that I have been nominated for 'The Sex Worker Of The Year' 2012 award by www.erotic-awards.co.uk!
I'm thrilled! I'm over the moon just to be nominated, but it would be even better to win!
I have to fill in a long questionaire now, so I'm off to get a coffee and a hot bagel (it's 9.50am here), and settle down to answer...
Wish me luck! xxx Dollymopp
Us gals in UK were reading today...about our Spanish friends sexy strike?
Just read a Spanish lady's comment on my friends site...
Her blog is so smart and cool anyway, you should read it.
He Paid For Me...
Don’t you just love an ambiguous title? Hehe…
In my arty job stuffs, sometimes I’m booked to do the make up for shoots, and this time it was an advertising shoot.
This pays very well indeed and the photographer is like my brother now, even though we sort of fancied one another at first. We never got it together, and it wouldn’t happen now anyway, we’ve been friends for years.
I was booked for this shoot out of town, and the team (photographer, 2 assistants, wardrobe, art director, hairstylist, 3 models and me) were staying at this very posh and gorgeous country manor for 3 nights. My room had a four poster bed, a bathroom bigger than my living room etc. Fabulous.
After the first day of shooting, we had dinner together and retired early for the next day.
I knew that I had to get up early, but I switched the tv on, and thought that I’d flip through some channels and fall asleep whenever.
I found ‘Zorro’ with Antonio Banderas, but kept on flipping through to see if there was anything better.
Suddenly, I was on a porn channel…and of course I looked at it! It was full of orange chicks with stuck-on-ball type tits, fake moaning and badly dubbed dialogue, and even worse ‘acting’. I watched it for about 10mins for the comedy value, and knew that ‘Zorro’ was the better choice.
But I couldn’t find ‘Zorro’, and no matter what buttons I clicked on the remote control, this crap porn film wouldn’t go away!
I switched the tv off, I unplugged it, plugged it in again, turned it on, I clicked every button on the tv, and the remote, but to no avail, so I gave up and went to bed.
When we were leaving on the final day, the team were all in the foyer ready to leave, and the photographer was paying the bill.
He then turned around, pointed at me, and said…
‘AND, I HAVE PAID FOR YOUR 8 HRS OF PORN FILMS, WHICH ISN’T PART OF THE CLIENT BILL, HMMM?
Everyone started laughing at me, and my face was boiling hot, screaming crimson!
I tried to tell them about the tv not playing fair, not letting me change channels etc! But no one would believe me, of course.
He even came over to me, rubbed his hands together and held them up to my face, and said…
‘Ahh.. what a lovely heat that is…’
I still have no idea how much hotel porn costs.
Or do I…?